A Polar Bear Christmas Read online

  “Come inside and shower before you see your family. You should be clean when you greet them.”

  Holly rolled her eyes. She’d carefully chosen the chunky sweater because of the way it hid her skin and the new tattoos she’d gotten since the last family get-together. Everyone was going to have a fit when they saw what she’d done this time.

  “If you don’t mind,” Holly said. “I’m going to take the side door.”

  She left her mother standing on the steps. Following old paths, she found the French doors that opened into a basement apartment. It was the same one she used every time she visited. When she reached into the topiary pot beside the door, she found the key.

  Inside, the apartment was dark. Any of her family would have been able to see, but Holly found herself slapping at the walls in search of the light switch. When the lights flared to life, she didn’t have to blink against the change like her family might have.

  There were pros and cons to her existence. It seemed everything she did now that she was back home reminded her of them. Away from Cartersburg, Holly didn’t think twice about turning on the lights. She didn’t think about her choice in shampoo or styling products and how their scents mingled together.

  An hour later, she was freshly showered, but missing her hairspray as the flyaway hairs fluttered in front of her face. The clothes in her dresser had gotten a little smaller since she’d last visited. She wished she could claim the weight she’d gained was muscle, but the truth was closer to cannolis ever since the Italian deli opened near her apartment.

  Frustrated that she couldn’t find a long sleeve shirt, she threw caution to the wind and opted for a tank-top instead. Holly would much rather listen to her family complain about the ink in her skin than her lack of a beast.

  She wished Claus could have accompanied her that night. This would have been a lot easier with the shifter by her side. He easily outweighed everyone in her family by fifty pounds. Reindeer weren’t lightweights, but whatever beast Claus held was a lot larger. Holly could have easily hidden behind him. Her cousins wouldn’t have even been able to see her.

  Instead, she had to make her opening appearance alone. She reached for the study door, hesitating. She would have arrived alone, anyway. Running into Claus and making the agreement had been last minute. It wasn’t like she’d planned on having his support months in advance.

  Before she could grab the door knob, it swung open in front of her. Damn shifter senses, she thought to herself.

  Elise ran her hand up the doorjamb, grinning at the sight of her weaker cousin. Holly managed a grin even if she was grinding her teeth. Behind Elise, she could see her father, brother, and Elise’s twin, Robbie. It was a smaller audience than she expected, but no less painful. Balthazar, ridiculously named after one of the three kings, sulked behind their father. Her brother wasn’t one for teasing her, but he’d never lifted a hand to stop them, either. Holly would have liked the chance to get to know her brother, but between his silent sulkiness and her distaste for being home, there was a divide between them.

  Holly remembered the way Elise and Robbie would pin her down and take turns biting her. They’d been a few years older than Holly, perhaps ten or eleven. She’d only been seven. It was all she could think about when she saw Elise or Robbie smile, the sensation of their teeth sinking into her skin all over again.

  It was part of why she’d tried to reclaim her body with tattoos. The buzzing needle helped her forget what others had done to her. The memory of other pain faded, replaced with the reward of art.

  Holly pushed past her cousin and went straight for the decanter of dark liquid on the side table. The room waited, silent, while she poured herself a drink of hard liquor. When she turned to face them, her father’s dark gaze bore into her.

  “Alone again this year?” her father needled her. “It must be so hard to make connections as a human. They’re absolutely incapable of monogamy.”

  “Actually, I…”

  “Holly is a human,” Robbie reminded her father. “Perhaps she enjoys it that way.”

  She was going to throw her glass across the room in a matter of moments. She could feel the rage building inside of her, but it had nowhere to go. It boiled and bubbled but could not find release.

  “What did you do to yourself this time?” Elise scowled, prowling toward Holly to run a finger down her arm.

  What had been bare skin the year before was now a nest of inked flowers. More ink trailed across her chest, revealed by the tank-top she now wore. Her father scowled across the room. Holly fought the urge to roll her eyes. It was already clear that she could not be what they wanted her to be. Why they constantly smothered her with their disappointment as if it were fresh and not years old, she wouldn’t ever understand.

  The rest of the night went by with only a handful of barbed remarks about Holly’s humanity. She was able to slip from the room once her father yawned and announced that he was calling it a night. She thought she’d left unseen, but she caught the echo of footsteps behind her. They were soft, almost imperceptible.

  Holly dodged before Elise could grab her. She spun on her heel and slid her feet apart. While years in martial arts training couldn’t make her stronger or faster than a shifter, she could be smarter than one. Across from her, Elise scowled. It was obvious she just wanted a punching bag, not one that might fight back.

  It was Elise’s grin that gave her away. Holly started to jump back, but Elise rammed into her before she could get away. Holly hit the wall, her lungs seizing. She fought to breathe while her diaphragm spasmed. Across from her, Elise laughed. She pinned Holly to the wall with a punch. Knuckles ground into her muscle.

  Holly cried out against her will. She tried to swallow the sound, but her weakness had already been revealed. Elise smiled, pleased with herself. The power play was over, and Holly had lost.

  “Where were you tonight? I can smell the soap on you. Wherever you were, it reeked so bad that you were forced to clean up before you could be in our presence.”

  Holly had no words for her cousin. The only thing she could summon was a single gesture, middle finger raised.

  Elise’s smile pursed, her eyes narrowing. She’s more cat than reindeer, Holly thought, playing with her prey.

  “Hiding from your family? Its pitiful that you seek out the lowest places to hide. Is that, perhaps, because the rest of your family has all the good places? It’s because we deserve it, you know. You’re nothing but a dung pile, stuck to our hooves.”

  It was the same, tired argument. Holly was always lesser in the presence of her family, especially Elise and Robbie. Neither would let her forget her place just in case Holly thought to reach for her parents’ inheritance. As it stood, the siblings would get what should have been Holly’s.

  They would inherit the manor and every piece of property in the Carter name, skipping over Holly entirely just because she was not a shifter. She told herself she didn’t want any of it, that the gesture meant nothing when she could find a better life far away from Cartersburg, but it hurt. It was the constant needle in her paw, metaphorically speaking of course.

  “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Elise. The moment the sun sets on Christmas, I’ll crawl back into my stinking hole, as you would say.”

  Elise looked as though she would leave, but then paused. Her nostrils flared. Holly told herself there was no way she could smell Claus on her. Not after she’d scrubbed her skin and lathered with fruity soap.

  “You should lay off the pomegranate bodywash. It smells like chemicals.”

  Holly blew out a breath. Elise’s bullying only would have gotten worse had she found out about Claus before Holly could bring him to the manor. She’d asked the big guy to be her date, so she could hide behind him, not to incite a fight with her cousins. Holly was still mad he couldn’t help her that night.

  She didn’t know what was so important that he couldn’t come to the manor with her. He’d made it clear that his whole reason for being
in town was to find a Carter. The best way to do that was from inside. Yet, he’d declined and left Holly on her own.

  As she slunk back to her basement apartment, she clutched the bruise blooming on her shoulder. Holly was careful to lock the door behind her as well as the one that led outside. She knew sleep would not come easy during the night, but that’s what coffee was for. First thing in the morning, she would set out for her favorite coffee shop and wait for Claus to call her.

  Chapter Three

  Claus groaned. His head throbbed from the night before. Sleep had evaded him after what he’d done. It was either lay in bed thinking about what happened or sleep and dream of how much worse it could have been. He’d chosen to repent while awake.

  The bartender, no longer the man with the womanly bun on his head, looked Claus up and down before reaching under the bar. Claus thought the man might come up with a shot gun, as if evidence of what Claus did was painted on his face. Instead, the man offered a beer bottle, the jerk of his chin telling Claus that it was on the house.

  He nodded his thanks.

  Claus wished he’d gone with the woman from the bar, the Carter girl, instead of going out on his boss’s orders. His night would have been much better. He might have even found a few hours of shut eye wrapped around the back of her.

  He dug the card from his pocket and flipped it between his fingers. Her name was Holly. He groaned and ran his hand over the shadow growing on his chin. It was a cheery name for a woman who was so clearly hurting. Claus wanted to see her smile, see a bit of joy reach her eyes. Even if it was only for the time they played house.

  Being a fake boyfriend for a week could be enjoyable.

  He dialed her number. His heart gave an unfamiliar thump while it rang.

  “Hello?” her voice was cautious.

  He noted that she didn’t use her name at all. She probably didn’t while she was in a town named after her family. “It’s me…ah, Claus.”

  This was far more awkward than he expected. His heart felt funny, not at all like it should. His lips twisted to the side while he fought back the feeling.

  “I take it you’re going to tell me you don’t want any part of this plan after all?”

  “What?” he snapped. “Hell, no. I’m one hundred percent in on this. Where can I find you? We need to make up a good story before we go in there together.”

  He could hear her sigh of relief on the other end. When he closed his eyes, he could see her face. Her bedroom eyes would be low, shadowed by her long lashes. He imagined her lower lip caught between her teeth and felt his blood start to rush south.

  Even if he didn’t find Robert Carter, he hoped he could find his way into Holly’s pants. Maybe then he would be free of the way his mind wandered around her.

  “I’m at the Sleigh Bell,” she said, cutting through his thoughts.

  “The what? Is there really a giant bell in town?”

  Her laughter was bright and tinkling. It stirred his exhausted beast, drawing a possessive growl from it. Claus gave it a firm no, but the creature didn’t seem to hear him.

  “It’s a café. I’m nursing a peppermint mocha to keep from going back to that house. If you don’t hurry, I’ll be on mocha number two. I can’t promise I won’t be a spaz from all the caffeine.”

  Claus agreed to meet her, even though he didn’t know the first thing about finding a café called the Sleigh Bell. The town was small enough that he figured he could drive up and down the few streets until he found it. His car drew a lot of stares as he meandered the streets. He made sure to wave to everyone who thought to glare at him.

  Many of the gawkers turned away the moment Claus looked at them. It was as if they could see the past that stained his hands. He was about to give up and call Holly, feeling lost in more ways than just one, when he finally found the café. There was no mistaking the building with the Santa sleigh hanging from the façade.

  Of course, there was no parking in the small lot beside it, but he held up the street as he waited for someone to pull out of their spot on the side of the road. The moment he killed the engine, the bells on the sleigh became apparent. They chimed in the wind while the sleigh rocked back and forth over his head. He thought it might topple at any moment, threatening to fall onto his Challenger.

  Before he could find the manager to point out the wobbling structure, Holly appeared. There were dark circles beneath her eyes as she gripped the paper cup in her hands. It seemed no amount of caffeine or makeup could hide what she’d gone through without him. He didn’t know how to apologize, so he didn’t, choosing to stick his hands in his pockets instead.

  “Is that your car?” Holly looked at the Challenger behind him.

  It was sleek and black with a hint of sparkle in the direct sunlight. He’d rescued the forty-year-old car and worked on the repairs until it was close to new again. It was, perhaps, the only thing Claus had to his name.

  “It sure is,” he replied with a grin.

  Holly didn’t look at him. Her eyes were on the car behind him. He thought he could see the wild adventures playing out behind her eyes. He could think of an adventure he’d like to take with her, his hand on the gear shift while her hand was on him.

  Claus cleared his throat. “So, this date. Shall we?”

  Holly snapped back to the present, shaking herself. “I’m starving. How about you? Even if you aren’t, I know a diner that is willing to put everything we order on the Carter tab.”

  Claus rubbed his hands together. “That sounds like a challenge.”

  They walked, side by side, down the street. There was an awkward space between them, silence making it seem impossible to cross. Holly looked out over the town around them. Her attention never turned toward him, much to his disappointment. Claus reminded himself he wasn’t here to mate. This was a mission, and Holly was just one way to see it through.

  If he had to, he would leave behind this farce they’d planned just so he could focus on the task. His beast didn’t like that idea. It tugged him closer to Holly as they walked. When he snaked an arm over her shoulder, she gave him a surprised look.

  “We’re supposed to be a couple. Right?”

  Indecision flickered over Holly’s face. Claus wondered if he’d made the right decision a moment before the tension in her shoulders melted and she leaned into him.

  I could get used to this, Claus thought.

  The thought crept in, quietly taking space in his mind. He didn’t have time to banish it before a group of carolers barreled down the street toward them. Their voices lifted in a chaotic mess of a Christmas song. He pulled Holly out of the way just in time, the mess of people flying past them.

  Just when he thought they were safe, instrumental music blared from a nearby park. Claus noticed the giant tree that loomed over them, the ornaments swaying in the wind nearly the size of his head. He waited for one to blow away and tumble down the street.

  “This town is a nightmare,” he concluded.

  “Welcome to Cartersburg. If you can’t tell, the Carters have worked hard to build a brand and the town has accepted it with open arms.” Holly looked down the street where the carolers disappeared. “It isn’t always this…messy. It almost makes me think that my family has something planned this year.”

  Claus wondered if his job had anything to do with it. He didn’t think Holly knew what he’d come for or what was going on with her own family, so he didn’t press the issue. He didn’t want her to think about her family for a while, not if it was going to make her scowl.

  “You have a bit of…” He rubbed his thumb against the corner of his mouth to show her that she had chocolate on her lips.

  Holly just looked at him, confused. The dark brown marred her perfect lips. He couldn’t just leave it.

  ***

  Holly froze when Claus reached for her. He was focused as his thumb brushed her lower lip. Her stomach did somersaults at his touch. It left her hungry and aching for more.

  This wasn’t a re
al relationship, though. It was a guise to keep her family from bullying her anymore than they had the night before. Though, if they were going to make it seem real, they would have to get used to being affectionate with one another. At least, for show.

  Holly stepped back. Claus nodded, apparently finished with whatever he’d been doing.

  “You had chocolate on your lip.” He grumbled the words, his hands now shoved in his pockets.

  The hunger she’d felt earlier was now directed at Claus. She watched him walk away, his ass flexing with each step, broad shoulders framed by his leather jacket. He was everything her parents were going to hate. And everything she wanted.

  Forgetting herself, she jogged to catch up to him and slipped her arm in his to steer him in the right direction. “The diner is this way.”

  “Please tell me it isn’t Christmas themed. I don’t know if I can take any more carols or bells.”

  “Well, then you are completely out of luck. Everything is Christmas themed in Cartersburg. If you like this, you’re going to love the annual Christmas talent show.”

  “If you make me sit through fifty people singing Silent Night, I will have to fake break-up with you.” Even though his words threatened, his voice was soft and tender.

  “Hush,” she scolded him, her eyes on the pedestrians passing them. She trusted no one. Money could buy anything, and the Carters had a good amount of money. “This whole town has ears. All the little elves will go running to my parents.”

  She tugged him into the diner. A Christmas tree graced the center of the room, but it made it nearly impossible to get a clear visual across the room. She waved to the hostess at the bar and pulled Claus into a seat near the tree, using it as cover and a noise dampener.

  He eyed the tree warily. “Did you ever stop to think I might be allergic to pine?”

  She gave Claus a wry smile. “You can’t get away with tricks like that. I know your kind. They’re impervious to damn near everything. Just trust me on the tree. Okay?”